DARING: " I am just an ordinary guy, with nothing to loose."

This post is about Daring new ways, Speaking up the truth, Taking your Life in your hands again.

„I am just an ordinary guy, with nothing to loose.“

Lester Burnham, from  the movie “American Beauty” of Sam Mendes (1999), when he quits his job.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psNuJuaYqVU (1min 40 sec)

Lester Burnham, a man on his early 40’s, has an ordinary life or better said, his life is boring and he even says he is almost already dead. In French we could call that Boulot-Metro-Dodo (this means Work-Public Transportation-Sleep), a not very fulfilling daily circle. He is working in an agency, having to please his customers, being rather false than authentic. One day, he has just enough of his life and just decides to quit his habits and his job (ok, he is in mid 40’s, so perhaps the mid-life crisis is calling him somewhere). As he says, he has nothing to loose. This drastic change, from day to the other, has an incredible impact on Lester’s life, learning to enjoy small little things (smoking, listening to music, working without responsibility, etc.) but also on his whole family life (his wife quits him, daughter leaves the house,…). He also finally speaks up what he feels and thinks, what he would not have done before to fit into the “system,”, to go with the social rules. This of course leads to some confrontational discussions.

I love this movie and this particular scene where, Lester, is courageously, without any fear or worries is “quitting his job”, without shame, without choosing the diplomatic words (it is very straight forward, even if it can appear a bit vulgar at first glance). He tells his truth to his employer and gives his notice saying at the end: „I am just an ordinary guy, with nothing to loose“.

This is for me a kind of metaphor for “Do what matters the most for you now”. Barbara Sher, a famous career coach mentions that what we are most afraid of is actually, being successful in these new steps we are thinking. So we are more afraid of success then we are about making the hard step.

So don’t wait too long. Start slowly but surely, step by step heading towards what you really want. It does not mean you have to bang the door and go like a criminal, but the movie is a message to stop kind of “prostituting” ourselves. And instead start to go for what we are longing for the most. This means being courageous, daring the next steps, without knowing really what will happen, as it is completely new territory. And this is not as easy as it seems.

The famous psychoanalyst C.G. Jung mentioned in his concepts that there are two parts of our lives: the first one is to please others (we kind of “prostitute” ourselves to get some love back but don’t really do what we deep inside want. Love being such an important human need). The second one is when we take full ownership in our life for what we really want deep inside (this nourishes us from the inside) and is the thrilling journey, even if completely unkown.

What are you longing for the most?

What hinders you on the way?

What can get you moving as of today?

How long are you ready to wait until you can start?

Hopefully not your whole life. Start acting now and get support if need be 

(Have a look at the Barbara Sher Coaches to support you on your journey: www.barbarasher.com/coaching.htm).