NATURE: Through the fog, reaching the clear sky

This week I walk up heading towards the closest little green hill to my apartment in big busy town. 

It is 6.15 am, winter has started, it is pretty cold and dry outside. The day has not yet begun really. It is dark and quiet except the first morning traffic gaining speed.

I reach quickly the entrance of the forest, where there is no artificial lights or people walking their dog anymore. Pure stillness.

It is an especially foggy day. I can only see about one meter around me. That is like becoming suddenly blind and not being in a position to be guided via my eyes (a navigator per excellence I just realized with the experience). The sounds of the first early birds (funny early birds!) reach my ears. Sounds become, in this context, another attention and another meaning. I notice that I am aware of every single little noise as it is so calm and quiet here. Sounds of the silence come in the front.

I know this walking path by heart, it is my favorite walk. But without the light, without seeing, while being alone (oh scary) was quite a different experience. A new experience.

Fears suddenly arose, blocking me on the path. I got stuck right in the middle of the path, while thinking “what am I really doing here, why am I doing this? is it masochism or wanting to prove anything to anyone?”

I don't know, I told myself. I took a real deep breath looking the path forward (foggy and dark) and the path backward (foggy and dark too). I was just in the middle.

Moment of decision, doubt and questioning: “Do I go backward or forward?”

Ok there are neither cougars, bears nor dangerous snakes in the area. So what is effectively stopping me to move forward? The metaphor of passing through a tunnel that I heard recently popped up in my mind. It is better to move fast forward instead of staying stuck in the middle of the tunnel. Mainly when you are scared of the dark. Both ways are equally long anyway. Oh god, but where to go now! My head takes over slowly again (my heart was pounding like crazy before, without reason understandable to me). Why not continuing then? So did I. Took my courage and still in the dark and foggy path, I took steps going up the hill. The more I entered the inside of the forest the more I could see, paradoxically. A real surprise indeed. Because up the hill there was a beautiful clear black sky with the moon and the star shining. This gave light to my path in all senses. I effectively could see more clearly due to the moonlight and also was rewarded for having dared taking the next step forward. Hurrahh!!

It was not as scary as I supposed it was. My mind played a trick on me. Nasty, nasty head. This was my custom made movie sequence, not the reality at all. What awaited me was beautiful and beyond any of my former thoughts. 

I could benefit from these beautiful minutes walking in a quiet forest alone looking at the universe confidently. Fully breathing that in. Now that I have discovered it I will surely repeat it, whatever the obstacle on the path. 

Just dare the step forward and be surprised what happens, it might well be very good ;).